I am swayed very easily by by mind these days. So I suppose expressing my thoughts will be a great help in clearing my mind for meditation. It is the path that led me here that gives me cause for resistance.
I have been listening to Adyashanti in my headphones while at work and at home in the past few weeks. I understood his words on enlightenment readily, but was immediately aware of my ego saying "no way"... And I was conscious of this and agreed with my ego, that this approach was going to be the end of my identification with my mind/ego and wasnt ready to let go. I did however keep listening and stay open to the transmission. The message and feeling from it resonated with me. I have moments of experiencing presence while listening, which feels good to me/ego, so I am permitted to continue listening.
Lately I have been more committed to my cleanse, and my practice of presence. New inspiration to achieve and to find time in my work based life to really be mindful of my food and my attitude towards myself. I even wrote in my journal the other night! The desire to express my feelings and thoughts as well as have my journey documented has been returning throughout my life. Perhaps now i will stick with it?
So I heard a quote today from the audio book that really began this whole process. I had set my alarm on my phone to remind me to look it up when I got home. I was reading a book I just picked up from the post office that was immediately drawing my in when the alarm went off and i made the choice to put down the book and extract this quote and write it out. The book I put down "Harnessing the Wheelwork of Nature - Tesla's Science of Energy" could wait. That book will no doubt be a source of inspiritaion to write more posts in the future, for now i will give you the quote... its worth waiting for... indeed... so read it slowly if you please and let each sentance have its own time:
"When I look inside and see that I'm nothing, that's wisdom
When I look outside and see that I'm everything, that's love
And between those two, my life turns."
Nice hey? Well I slapped it into the search engine and found a nice website with many nice posts. not a lot of living and felt oneness coming from it but nice people and nice intents... the effect it did have on me was to inspire a reaching out and opening to collectives of peace seekers. I surfed around reading about Thich Nhat Hanh and followed several other trails. My mind wandered but a feeling came up to share my own thoughts and practice writing out my understanding. I have desired to create my own website but couldnt justify the money for it until i had more time to put into it... funny, need more money and more time... as we all do (free energy to the rescue!)
So here i am, writing out my thoughts. I'd imagine i will get much better at it as i go. As I write this I expect to be the only reader hahaha, but that is truly enough. I set out to meditate this evening, then picked up my new book, then surfed the net then wrote this... my original plan was to have a simple yet focused evening and instead it went all over... sort of like my mind... guess I cant escape the fact that I am still almost always led by it. The resistance I could feel to this new endeavor comes from the fact that it could be more of a distraction than help... like will I continue to use up time writing instead of meditating?
oh well, no point worrying