spiral

I have become very good at conditioning my mind to operate from a positive and constructive place. I think the explosion of a food addiction was from the work i am doing in taking down my own conditioning... I realized that I am still always trying to write new programs for my mind and create new schedules to follow so that things will flow smoothly... I have been opening to letting go... to allowing everything to be as it is... and this new way of being is coming in and is very refreshing. So naturally the logical ego based side of me is now trying to directly control and program a meditation of allowing everything to be as it is... the result i think is that i am moving closer to a collapse of this structure as it is itself just program... mode of thinking. The food thing has helped me realize this... and a great bike ride i went on afterward... very stoned but very free and explorative... and i had more energy than ever for that ride.... time to go to pemby to pick berries and then off to crankworx... blend in with the rest of us crazy humans.