body awareness smarter than mindstuf

Regardless of where my mind goes my body is sustaining itself. It seems to be able to do this better when I am feeling good about myself, yet there is some underlying will to survive and thrive that transcends the mental stream. i.e. when I am feeling bad and have feelings of not caring about living or dying the body seems to know this is just mental streaming and will continue to support itself. I believe all suicidal thoughts stem from mental pollution. From inner unexpressed pain that is making noise and trying to be heard and seen but gets twisted by the core error in our programming that says we are not worthy. The urge for self annihilation seems to come from a desire to be free. that we are so weary of the struggle that we would give up anything to be free of it, even our own lives. But if we are ready to give up on life itself why not consider giving up on our attachment to our identity? Could this be a profound way to assist those who are in extreme suffering? I think so. Though I think it would be fair to say that many would hold on to their story and their suffering and prefer to go down with them intact rather than let go into a state prior to any story.

I speak of this drawing from my own experience of attempted suicide when I was 16 and more presently of the building up of suffering that happens within me and the direction my thoughts go. I know I want to live and to be free yet sometimes the suffering becomes so great it causes feelings of wanting to give up... these feelings of giving up feel like they could be directed towards the ego shell and the pain itself. which is where the magic might happen, and is the last thing I want to do.. turn towards the pain and see it for what it is breaking the spell.

definitions

while driving through Squamish on my way to the city the other day I had a thought stream end with what I would call my simple definition of spirituality.

Spirituality is paying attention to what is going on inside of you.

it needn't be more complicated than that. I believe that absolutely everything that has does and will ever exist or unfold is spiritual but to discover this one simply needs to pay attention to what is happening to themselves from the inside. your thoughts emotions and reactions... your desires your fears and what you believe to be true vs. what you know as truth. Words about this can be written, read, contemplated and argued over, but the endless discovery of what we really are begins by paying attention. To things on the surface... or as deep as we can manage... and then deeper... and then deeper... and then we realize what we once thought was deep was just a more subtle story of shallow things. and the process enters a new phase of going deeper... and deeper. and as far as I can tell has no depths or limits... even after enlightenment, full realization, complete transcendence of all karma and merging with the collective, complete transcendence of physical laws and this reality, merging with the sun and experiencing every photon of live giving energy, every atom and molecule in the entire solar system and being aware of each and all at the same time. experiencing like this further and further until reaching total universal omnipotence and beyond to all the dimensions and universes and all physical existence simultaneously realizing that you are all this and are part of the creative forces that both conceived and sustain it. or something like this.....

Community

Eco community... eco is a commercial term now. And I will be putting the idea forward to the collective that forms when im ready to purchase land for the commune.

I started dreaming up my ideal living situation when faced with yet another move and just didnt want to settle on another suite... I was looking for a new place to rent to get away from the clouds of pesticides that permeated the orchard house i lived in. I wanted a cabin in the woods. I wanted a big shop to store tools and gear. I wanted trees! lots of trees and enough privacy to walk around my yard nude.

After a search and a prayer of manifesting such a place i decided the best way to bring this about was to have my own land... (i use "my own" because it fits to our current system, i dont believe we can own land, but rather create a relationship to it.) I was excited at the idea of having the freedom to work and create the way i wanted to...

So to purchase a sizable chunk of raw land i was going to need financial help, back then i was in my 2nd year electrical and was not yet making enough to consider buying my own... Around this time I had realizations about the number of friends and family i had in the trades. I began to ponder who might be interested in teaming up and buying land and helping each other build our respective dwellings... I began to draw up a list (which I still have and just looked at) of all things I thought should be considered before going forward. Topics I started with:

Money and Ownership

Land and Layout

Communication

Selecting the right people

Benefits

I had several issues/thoughts for each topic but this was a quick list that didn’t get much more attention itself, but helped me begin to bring this from idea to reality; at least in my mind. I realized soon that some people had the capacity to see this work (by capacity i sort of mean seeing the issues and knowing they will be part of the solution not the problem) while others seemed concerned about not having the right people. It seemed to me that, with all realism included, those who foresaw problems would likely be the ones creating those problems... I do not mean I want to find people with any sort of blinders on, but rather those who know that through their integrity and love in their heart this dream can be realized. These are the people that attract me. I also have seen those who seem all for it, but through my intuition and their lack of presence I feel alarms ringing in me. I am aware that this idea is common and to me just makes sense, so there will be a lot of interest and many options for people to join many communities i.e. sharing the interest in this topic with people doesn't mean we will all live in the same community. Through intuition and trust in the power of clear intention this wont be much of an issue. Just a lot of fun. I attract those who have made peace with working in the system and are not trying to escape it, but who are simply going to do something that makes sense.

Community Ideas

This is the original list i made:

Communal Living Ideas and Issues

Money and Ownership:

-buy out and buy in (need for it?)

-value of contribution

-Paper work for who owns what

-learn about the property laws for having multiple families on one property, taxes etc.

-food sharing

Land and Layout:

-private drive ways branching off main driveway

-privacy

-water sources

-potential for agriculture

-proximity to Vernon

Communication:

Meetings:

-discussing issues

-learning everyone’s priorities

-having a general plan or list of priorities that is adaptable and agreeable.

-openness

-emotional support and healing

Selecting the right people:

-talk to people about their commitment and enthusiasm and openness to the idea

-selecting temporary people,

BenefitsJ

Sharing resources

-tools and manpower

-providing care for children from familiar and loving people

-While some will work to pay mortgage others will work to raise children and prepare food from garden and canning etc.

-communal library

-